FAR AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER – During a recent episode of ESPN: First Take, Steven A. Smith and Skip Bayless, sports analysts and co-winners of the 2012 “Person You’d Least Like to Sit Next to at a Dinner Party” award, decried the lack of serious dialogue in the American political system.
“As I look at this situation, I am struck by the fact that – I am struck by the fact that the Republicans and Democrats can’t get anything done,” yelled Smith. “President Obama? That man can ball. Obama can baaallll. Obama? Yeah, he can ball. Mitch McConnell – I see you. He’s no slouch. Nancy Pelosi – I’m not into that hair color you got going on there – but you got a girl who can come off the bench and get things done right there!”
“I’m sorry, what were we talking about again?” he added.
Skip Bayless, who was being teleconferenced in from his heavily padded “safe room” next door, subsequently explained his views.
“Really, Steven A.? Really? Is that something you truly believe? Because if that’s the case then let me show you something right here.”
Bayless then proceeded to repeat what Smith had just said, verbatim. From that point forward, the two yelled over and hurled insults at one another for ten minutes.
“Look, all I’m saying is this,” explained Smith, after regaining his composure. “We have a handful of political, social, economic, and geopolitical issues that we need to deal with now, before we end up in a serious crisis. There’s no way we’ll be able to do that if we’re constantly arguing with one another without ever trying to see the other person’s side.”
Smith then spent the rest of his airtime saying absolutely nothing in a mesmerizingly forceful and rhythmic manner, while Bayless repeatedly insulted Smith’s wife.
Meanwhile, that one woman on the show continued to say nothing.
Originally published: February 2013