I hope everybody else did okay. What? Buick went under? Well, that makes sense; their product wasn’t really as in vogue – nay, as necessary – as ours. Let’s face it: America’s fascination with cars comes and goes, but ham is forever.
Honestly, things never really slowed down over here. Hams have been flying off the shelf all year long. You think people are only willing to trample one another to death at Best Buy or Walmart, trying to get the hottest new electronics or the season’s new must-have toy? Please. That’s nothing compared to the gladiator-style battle royale that takes place here over the last few dozen hams on Black Friday.
You know, oftentimes people are surprised to hear we do so well since they’ve never even met anyone who’s come here before. And honestly, that’s understandable. For some reason, no one really wants to be seen coming in here, so we do a lot of our business via mail-order catalog. We call it our Ham-alog! Yessir, business is a-boomin’ and there really is no end in sight for our country’s insatiable ham thirst.
If I were you, I’d jump on the ham-train while you still can. I know that you’ve heard this all before, but the price of ham is never going to go anywhere but up in this country, so any investment is a good investment when your investment is ham! Forget about all those other companies that didn’t make it. Manufacturing? Service? That’s the past! Our future lies in our Whole Homestyle HoneyBaked goodness! This country may have been built on sweat, but it is going to last on ham!
Originally published: Apr 2013