‘Las Momias Comen Los Ninos,’ Reads Latest Homework
Sources confirm that students in Professor Todd Leonard’s Spanish 102 class are becoming increasingly disturbed by their homework assignments, which require them to translate sentences from Spanish to English and vice versa.
While this is normally standard procedure for introductory-level Spanish courses, the coursework for Leonard’s class is reportedly “dark,” “chilling,” and “seriously fucked up.” A recent assignment called upon students to write ten sentences using verbs from the “tragedy” vocabulary list with the plural-form subject “newborn babies.”
“It’s just wrong, man. Last night I had to come up with a bunch of sentences like, ‘The newborn babies drowned on Tuesday’ and ‘The car ran over the newborn babies,’” said sophomore Cameron Gray. “And now listen to this: ‘No one visits the sick child in the hospital.’ I looked this guy up on RateMyProfessor.com before I registered, how the fuck could nobody mention this?”
“‘Grandma did not wake up today,’” read another student. “Are you serious? Who comes up with this shit?”
When asked about his disturbing homework assignments, Leonard said, “Oh, these are, uh, pretty standard introductory materials. They’ve been around for as long as I’ve been teaching, I swear.”
In addition to complaints of disquieting subject matter, several students have also taken issue with the disjointed manner in which different topics are covered.
“Okay, for example, take this sentence from last night’s homework: ‘Mr. Leonard would have been spared years of pain if he had just ended it all a long time ago.’ Not only is this alarming on a personal level, but we weren’t even supposed to learn the conditional until chapter 12,” said freshman Sarah Hawthorne.
At press time, Professor Leonard and several of his students have been missing since the due date of the last assignment, which asked students to translate, “‘The lonely old professor snuck into their rooms one by one and silenced them forever.’”
Originally published: April 2013
