Students Stage Sit-In During Football Games To Protest New Seating Policy

In the months since school officials announced that seating for the student section would follow a general admissions policy for the 2013 football season, enraged upper-level students have been hard at work trying to make their voices heard. After employing several different strategies such as creating Facebook groups, signing online petitions, and muttering “Man, this is bullshit” under their breaths, students upset with the first-come, first-served policy have decided the best way to inspire change is to stage a sit-in at the Big House during all home games.

“It’s pretty simple,” explained LSA senior and participating dissident Peter Schulberg. “If all of the students upset with this ludicrous general admissions policy band together, buy tickets, and refuse to leave our seats until the game is over, they’ll have to revert back to seniority-based seating. Can you imagine how chaotic that’ll be?”

“In addition,” Schulberg added, “I plan on loudly complaining about how unfair this whole thing is while waiting in line to be seated.”

Although some have criticized this plan of action, passionate student activists see it differently.

“Did I buy season tickets? Yes. Does that mean I’ve given up the good fight? Hell no!” exclaimed Engineering junior June Wheland. “I’m confident that the athletic department will give in to our demands if we only hold steadfast in our convictions to remain seated, except to use the bathroom or buy refreshments.”

So far, students have demonstrated intense solidarity. School officials confirmed that thousands of students began gathering outside the stadium in protest at around 4:00 AM on Saturday.

“I’m glad to actually be making a difference,” said LSA senior Jordan King from the tent he had been camping out in since 5:00 AM to secure good seats. “I haven’t felt this good about myself since I bought a pair of Toms. By the way, you’re welcome, kids in Africa.”

While the protest was initially confined to the areas surrounding the stadium, the students somehow managed to gain entry around noon, staging a sit-in that didn’t fully disband until later in the evening.

School officials believe this is the largest student demonstration to take place since students protested the Vietnam War by staying holed up in the safety of a college town 8,000 miles from combat.

Several times throughout the course of the sit-in, students chanted “You Suck” towards the field, presumably directed either towards the opposing team or Athletic Director Dave Brandon.

Brandon said he is “totally on board” with the protest. “If you really want to stick it to me, sit in during basketball and hockey games too.”

Originally published: September 2013

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