A Letter of Recommendation for Bradley Gerst

To Whom It May Concern:  Based on your interest in “Hardworking  Associates Who Are Willing To Work For  Ridiculously Low Salaries,” we’d like to  recommend Bradley Gerst for a position at your  company.

We know him better than anyone else in  his life, and so can give the strongest possible  recommendation for any venture he may  undertake.

Mr. Gerst has been an asset to our development  over the past five years, logging over 4,500 total  hours on Netflix. We have grown to know him  and his tastes and truly feel that our relationship  goes far beyond a professional one. When we  initiated our live-streaming operations, he was  one of our first backers, giving a full measure of  support that has never wavered. Mr. Gerst has  also helped tremendously with our expansion  into international markets, by watching Love,  Actually with his Canadian girlfriend from her  home in Toronto and then watching it four times  in a row again after their breakup.

Over the years, Mr. Gerst has matured  considerably. When his power went out, he  watched seasons 1-3 of Archer online in a 34-  hour span using his phone’s data plan instead of  simply panicking because his WiFi was down,  proving himself to be extremely resourceful. He  is more of a “Critically Acclaimed Short Films”  man now; far removed from the “Raunchy  Comedy” lover he was when we first began  working together. Yet, although his tastes have  matured, he is still eager to learn, studying the  female body often through such films as Slumber  Party Pillow Fight and MILFS XXX.

Based on his interest in The Office  and Parks and Recreation, I can recommend  him strongly for a “Witty Workplace Sitcom”  probably very similar to that of your company. As  demonstrated by his frequent adding of National  Geographic documentaries to his Instant Queue,  which we are sure he will get around to watching  any day now, Bradley Gerst is an intellectually  curious man, one who will find your team’s  atmosphere to be mutually beneficial.

We hope you find Bradley to be  extremely qualified to become a Sandwich  Artist on your local Subway team, and that  this recommendation has served to support a  hopefully already favorable view provided by his  application. If you have any further questions,  please do not hesitate to contact us by phone at  1-800-NETFLIX.

Best wishes,

The Netflix team.

 

Originally published: Oct 2013

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