Taylor Lewan To Change Number To 69 Because, Well, You Know

THE BIG HOUSE LOCKER ROOM—Following Michigan quarterback Devin Gardner’s permanent number change to 98, in honor of Heisman Trophy Winner Tom Harmon, Senior captain Taylor Lewan announced he will also be changing his jersey.

“The change to 69 came after a lot of thought. Seeing Devin’s inspiring performances wearing 98 made me think about how I honor the most important things in my life. For Devin, 98 can represent his commitment to the tradition of Michigan football. For me the number 69 symbolizes,well, some commitments of my own,” Lewan stated, winking.

The team has been supportive of Ryan’s decision, citing his outstanding leadership qualities and great play on the field. Linebacker and fellow captain Cam Gordon attested that “Taylor has earned the right to wear whatever number he chooses. Frankly, I’m just upset I didn’t get 69 first. Well, maybe I did, if you know what I’m sayin’!”

“This guy knows what I’m talking about!”Avery added as he fist-bumped a teammate passing by. “Am I right!?”

The significance of the numbers aside, the Michigan Athletic Department is sure to financially benefit from the number change as well. Yet some parents seem uneasy about allowing their children to purchase the new Lewan jerseys. Mother and Michigan alumna Jennifer Matthewson of Saline, Michigan, told reporters that she wasn’t sure whether her son would be getting a new jersey.

“Sure, my eight-year-old son wants Taylor’s new number 69 jersey. And can you imagine if he asked why the number is new? I’ve already explained the birds and the bees, but I refuse to talk to him about what happens when a man kisses a woman’s no-no while she licks his ding-a-ling at the same time! How embarrassing!”

Originally published October 2013

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