Sophomore Leaves Sorority for More Independent Lifestyle, Joins Cult

SOLAR TEMPLE—Sophomore Stacey Bean has officially left the Theta Kappa Gamma Sorority to further pursue her interests in the Order of the Solar Temple, a local organization dedicated to friendship and higher meaning/ cult.

In search of a stronger sense of self and more autonomy with her life, Bean decided to leave her sorority sisters last week after months of feeling unfulfilled. “I realized I didn’t like the structured routine of Kappa Gamma. I had to eat when my sisters ate and had to wear what they wore,” Bean stated. “In the Solar temple, I can eat my allotted cabbage bars when I’m hungry, choose the color of my robe, and pray to Lord ZarTak anytime I want!”

After leaving Kappa Gamma, observers report that Bean seems to be happier than she’s ever been. “Stacey never got into the groove of Sorority life. She would always complain about how dumb our rituals were,” stated Rachel Hazan, a current member of Kappa Gamma. “But when I saw Stacey yesterday, passing out leaflets in the diag with tin foil on her head, she looked the happiest I’ve ever seen her. I think she made the

right choice.”
Bean, who joined Kappa

Gamma sorority her freshman year, noticed early on that Greek life wasn’t for her. “From the beginning I felt that something was wrong. We all had to sing the chapter anthem the night I got initiated and I just felt ridiculous,” Bean said as she slapped her thighs with a rubber glove to ward off evil spirits, a common practice at the Temple. “I got the feeling this was not the life for an independent woman like me.”

Unlike Theta Kappa Gamma, the Order of the Solar Temple has surprisingly few rules and even fewer New Yorkers, which Bean was attracted to immediately. Bean, a 20 year old from Cleveland, wanted to be a part of a community at Michigan while also learning more about herself. Both, she initially thought, could be achieved with Kappa Gamma.

“I was disappointed with the lack of diversity in Kappa. I was living with fifty white girls just like me,” Bean told reporters. The sophomore now happily lives with

The sophomore now happily lives with Hispanics, African Americans, two multidimensional beings taking form in the shape of spider plants, and––her ‘personal favorite’––Molly the house goat.

Bean, who ran for president of Kappa Gamma, and lost, finally feels satisfied with where she is. “I just couldn’t be another sheep in the system. I had to do more,” Bean stated. “I’ve been a member of the Temple for only a couple of weeks and I’m already a level nine Guardian!”

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