While many Seniors are most proud of their high GPA, volunteer work, or admissions into top tier graduate programs, Economics major Francis Clayton asserts that his greatest achievement of his four years at Michigan was the Halloween costume he designed in his Sophomore year.
“See, it was like a Twister mat, but the blue circle was on my dick,” Clayton snickered. “And the spinner was, like, almost all blue, so I would get a bunch of girls to spin it and you get the idea,” said Clayton while suppressing laughter.
Clayton’s classmate Paul Gannon added, “Sure, I might have graduated with honors and gotten accepted to Yale law school, but that costume… that was a stroke of genius. I could never measure up to something like that.”
When asked to elaborate, Gannon responded by looking wistfully skyward, and reminiscing about the “epic party” where Clayton debuted his masterpiece.
“When I saw him staggering down the stairs with a 40 in one hand and the spinner in the other, I just couldn’t help myself,” LSA junior Maggie Smith recalled. “At first we were just making out in the corner a little, but then we took the party to the floor, where Twister is meant to be played.”
“I don’t know exactly where my life is headed, but the Twister costume is something I’ll always have,” said Clayton.
Follow-up reports indicate that Clayton has not yet landed a job and has moved back with his parents, with his costume hanging proudly in his closet.
Originally published: Dec 2013
