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Doctor Explains to Frat Star That The Deterioration Of His Liver Is Not ‘So Frat’

Doctor Tim Stanley, who has found great success in his fifteen-year...

  • Feb 23, 2014

UMMA Has Its Most Successful Friday Night Event

This Friday, staff at the University of Michigan Museum of Art were...

  • Feb 23, 2014

DPS Left With No Suspects After Man Confesses To Triple Homicide

University officials reported Tuesday that the Department of Public...

  • Feb 23, 2014

Scientists Isolate Particle Responsible For Michigan Difference

In a breakthrough scientific study, researchers at the University of...

  • Feb 23, 2014

God Attempts To Purge RC Hippies From Earth With East Quad Flood

A flood ravaged East Quad this month after a pipe burst on the...

  • Feb 23, 2014

Student Who Says She Has No Time To Call Grandma Watches 20 Hours Of TV Each Week

Alexis Fisher confesses she has fallen out of regular contact with...

  • Feb 23, 2014

‘Good Monday Morning Class!’ Exclaims Sad, Sad Man

Feeling extreme sympathy for the poor bastard, students confirmed...

  • Feb 23, 2014

Dining Hall Favorite ‘Grandma Shubert’s Meatloaf’ Found To Contain Trace Amounts Of Grandma Shubert

Sources confirm that a recent study of the nutritional value of the...

  • Feb 23, 2014

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