Freshman Girl Hesitant to Buy Football Ticket Alone in Jake’s Room

Sources confirmed this Friday that Jake Tyler, a Markley freshman, couldn’t understand why fellow freshman Amanda Pollack wouldn’t buy his Indiana ticket. “It was super easy for her,” he said. “The ticket was only 10 bucks, all she had to do was come to my room on Friday night around 6 or 7. I told her to come to my room alone because I felt like this would be really personal transaction. What isn’t there to get?”

The two were seemingly a match made in heaven. Tyler needed to sell his Indiana ticket in order to go home for the weekend and see if his high school crush had gotten rid of her new boyfriend yet. Pollack has a friend who is visiting from Kenyon College who she wants to give “the full Michigan experience” because she feels bad her friend goes to such a “lame-ass granola liberal arts school.”

“When I saw his message in the 2018 Facebook page, I was ecstatic,” Pollack said. “10 bucks is pretty cheap, and he lives in the same dorm as I do.” It was only after Tyler started releasing the details of where they should meet that Pollack became hesitant.

“All I wanted was for her to come to my room and tell me what her favorite flower was,” he said. “I was just going to make sure I had some nice music on and maybe even have a bottle of champagne on the rocks, because I wanted this transaction to be as comfortable as possible.”

Pollack wasn’t sure what to make of Tyler’s request. “I just didn’t really understand what having a boyfriend or not had to do with this ticket,” said Pollack. “I was hoping this would be a very quick exchange, but he kept asking what movie I wanted to watch when I came over.”

Although Tyler promises he has no romantic interest in Pollack, he admits he has had some trouble with the ladies while at Michigan. “It just didn’t work out between me and the girl I sold my Minnesota ticket to,” he explains. “But the Minnesota game was so early in the season. Things change, people change. I’m selling my Indiana ticket for half the price.”

Pollack eventually decided to buy her ticket from a sophomore named Tim, who met her at the UgLi at 2 p.m. and who has not called her back since. She admits that the transaction was emotionless, and that in some ways she misses her Facebook messages with Tyler. “I mean, I feel like Jake was a total weirdo,” Pollack says. “But he really cared. Tim acted like the ticket was just some piece of paper, like it barely had any meaning now that the team sucks.”

Tyler did eventually sell his ticket for $10 to a girl, and they have gone on multiple dates. “Oh man, she is really special,” says Tyler. “She’s the kind of girl you want to sell your ticket to. I might even sell my Maryland ticket to her.”

Originally Published October 2014

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