Senior Excited to Get Job, Start Paying Off Loans From Skeeps

While LSA senior Stan Long admits to feeling stressed about his student loans, he says it’s his debt to Skeeps has been keeping him up at night. “If I default on my student loans, that sucks, whatever,” explained Stan. “But if I can’t pay Skeeps back, I know the guys who work the door will hunt me down. I don’t want them to hunt me down.”

Stan frequents the sticky floors of Skeeps most Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and also admits that he occasionally sits alone at the bar on Monday afternoons because “you’re not an alcoholic until you graduate, am I right?” He reportedly spends
hundreds of dollars every week, buying drinks for himself, every girl with whom he makes eye contact, and “any strangers who seem like they could use a friend.”

Due to the expensive Skeeps lifestyle, Stan rations his other expenses in order to have more fun at night. “I’m on a pretty strict Ramen diet,” Stan told reporters. “And I don’t buy any textbooks anymore because those are so expensive. Plus, you can just Google most stuff now anyways.”

Although Stan’s parents are unaware that Scorekeepers is a bar, they are “happy to hear that Stan was finally taking part in team sports. It builds character and teaches cooperation with others.”

Despite not having a job lined up after college, Stan is extremely confident that something will come up. “You’d be surprised, but I’ve made a lot of LinkedIn connections at Skeeps. I’ve received a lot of endorsements in categories like public speaking and generosity. So, that bodes well for my future. And if I don’t find something, I’ll just have to get used to a more relaxed lifestyle,” Stan said. “I love Skeeps, but when the times are tough, I know I can always go to BTB Cantina. They have dollar shots on Tuesdays. Now that’s a bargain.”

Published October 2014

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