‘So, What’s Your Major?’ Asks Social Maverick at Party

Sources confirmed that LSA junior and self-described “human social lubricant” Tanner McCarty established multiple deep connections with friends, acquaintances, and fellow party-goers after asking them what their respective fields of study were.

“Oh, that Tanner kid? He was okay, I guess,” LSA sophomore Carrie Orlich said, trying her best not to quiver with pleasure at the mere mention of his name. “I told him I was studying Econ and he said he thought his cousin was studying that too, but then he realized she was actually in Org Studies. Then he was just sort of quiet after that so I left to get another cup of jungle juice.”

Orlich was not the only attendant to fall under McCarty’s irresistible charm. Up to five other individuals were also reportedly asked about their majors by McCarty, resulting in conversations ranging from a respectable twenty seconds to an impressive four and a half minutes.

“The crazy thing is, this is just the tip of the iceberg,” McCarty said of his now famous McCarty Method. “I’m excited to see where I can go with this next. Who knows, maybe next time it’ll be ‘What year are you?’ or ‘Do you live on- campus or off?’ I don’t know if the world is quite ready for ‘You involved in any student clubs or anything?’ just yet, but I’m sure I’ll work my way up there,” McCarty said with a playful wink.

At press time, eyewitnesses could not corroborate McCarty’s claims that his social prowess left him “knee-deep in pussy,” but sources speculate that it is likely nevertheless true because “game recognize game.”

Originally Published October 2014

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