BUFFALO WILD WINGS – Crowds gasped at Buffalo Wild Wings yesterday as daredevil Wayne Sheehan ordered medium wings, which is reportedly a far cry from his standard mild selection.
Several eyewitnesses reported that a small group of people had gathered around Sheehan when his order was placed, while the waitstaff responded with hushed whispering. Upon Sheehan’s first bite of the unfamiliar wing flavor, the entire bar area began shouting excitedly, as the pull of NFL Thursday Night Football could not compete with Sheehan’s “feat of manliness.”
“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” exclaimed restaurant patron Maria Winter. “Tonight, Wayne’s display of courage and bravery really showed me that people in this town really have a sense of adventure. And mediocre taste in wings.”
After the crowd had parted, Sheehan was smiling but visibly shaken, clutching an empty glass of milk. When interviewed, he remarked that “Not everyone gets the chance to show people what life is all about. I have a gift for inspiring the common man. A mild throat tingle and slight forehead sweat will go away, but the magic in these people’s hearts will stay forever.” Sheehan’s previous public stunt, riding the bus without grasping the handrail in April, cemented his place as a showman. With this display, dubbed “The Spiceman Cometh” by the local newspaper, Sheehan has now reportedly reached reached “David Blaine levels” of showmanship and intrigue.
Sheehan has since announced plans to take a break from the public eye, but hinted that his next appearance could involve putting his pants on two legs at a time.