FOURTH FLOOR, HUNT HOUSE—In a move that left residents of South Quad “stunned,” roommates Joshua Hodges and Frank Eshelman completely reconsidered the design of their dorm room and trundled their beds last week.
“We felt that South Quad was starting to let the dust settle a little bit,” Eshelman explained. “And we were like ‘Nuh-uh. Nuh-nuh-nuh. Not gonna happen’,” he added, wagging his finger. After spending the better part of three months with their previous room layout, Hodges and Eshelman decided on a whim to disrupt the community’s sense of comfort.
“Everybody in South Quad is like ‘loft this, loft that’. And we did… for a while,” Eshelman said. “But then, we decided we had to break the mold. We were just shooting the shit one night after studying when Josh was like, ‘You know, the room would be a lot more open if we trundled our twins.’ I stopped what I was doing and I immediately kissed his forehead. That beautiful genius.”
Hodges stated, “Yeah, I masterminded this epic mindfuck. Nobody thought it could be done. ‘You can’t pass this class,’ they said. ‘You can’t go out with me,’ they said. ‘You can’t trundle your beds,’ they said. Finally I had enough.”
“Look, I get it,” Hodges continued. “Everyone sees trundled beds in the housing pamphlet from September and immediately flips the page. They’re intimidated. They take the easy way out. But we set out to prove everybody wrong that night.”
Following the change, shockwaves began to hit Hunt House as early as noon and quickly spread to the rest of South Quad.
“I walked into their room after class right after they changed it and I thought I was on the wrong floor, let alone the wrong room,” hallmate Katherine Parsons said. “But then I looked around. I saw the mini-fridge. I saw the John Belushi poster. I saw Frank changing. And then I saw those trundled beds. I broke down and cried right there. My God. Those trundled beds.”
“We immediately started getting passionate reactions from people,” Hodges said. “We were the talk of the town. A lot of people applauded the change, but some asked, ‘How dare you?’ Many are still trying to sort out their emotions.” Even a week later, the two roommates are still getting attention.
“My move-in maker works in the dining hall. The other morning, I was going to get some hash browns when she just handed me the spoon, looked me right in the eyes, and coldly said, ‘take whatever you need’,” Eshelman explained.
At press time, Hodges and Eshelman were rumored to be attempting the legendary dresser- on-dresser configuration, which has not been successfully implemented since the infamous Lloyd House Disaster of 2006.