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Study Finds Men Whom Use ‘Whom’ Get Laid More Often Than Those Whom Don’t

A study released online last week confirmed that men whom use...

  • Feb 15, 2015

2015 Camry’s New Safety Features Not Preventing Gary From Driving Like Total Asshole

GARY’S SICK NEW WHIP—Despite years spent on the research and...

  • Feb 15, 2015

You Can’t Make A Country Boy Outta A City Slicker. But Does The Converse Hold?

When I was just a boy, my ma always said, “You can’t make a...

  • Feb 15, 2015

‘You Kinda Had to Be There on Five Tabs of Acid,’ Area Man Explains

Conceding that his anecdote had failed to elicit the response he’d...

  • Feb 15, 2015

Homeless Can Collector Wins Trip To Ann Arbor Recycling Center After Finding Golden Bottle

Local bottle collector and homeless man Marv Billingsly admitted he...

  • Feb 15, 2015

Pride is a Sin. But Did I Mention I’m the One True Son of God?

Brothers and sisters, as the only true son of the Almighty Creator, I...

  • Feb 15, 2015

Terminally Ill Child Milking It Bit Too Much

Parents and students at Learning Tree Elementary are reportedly...

  • Feb 15, 2015

I Cook for Michigan Dining. But That Doesn’t Mean My Artistic Expression Has to Be Stifled.

Everyone’s got dreams, kid. That’s why you’re here...

  • Feb 15, 2015

‘We’ll Stay In Touch’ Says Naive, Optimistic Fool

Last Monday, Ross senior and hopelessly optimistic fool Vince Walker...

  • Feb 15, 2015

Singer Requires Verbal Commitment From All 10,000 Concert Attendees That They Are, In Fact, Ready To Rock

Attendees of the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus concert last Wednesday...

  • Feb 15, 2015

Why Delivering This Pizza Was More Important Than the Life of Your Dog

Look, before we begin, I just want to remind you that the delivery...

  • Feb 15, 2015

New Sonogram Screens For Chromosomal Mutations, Number Of Likes Ultrasound Will Get On Instagram

On the heels of recent technological breakthroughs in the prenatal...

  • Feb 15, 2015
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