In an effort to reach that one book “wedged in there real tight,” sources report area man Wendell Boones resorted to precariously balancing on top of a swivel chair, practically asking for a tragic accident.
“Oh, sure, I’ve done this dozens of times,” stated Boones, flexing up onto his tip toes. Continued Boones, blissfully unaware that he was seconds away from a concussion, deep wound, or ankle sprain, “trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
Sources state that this incident is only the latest in a long string of death-defying feats of total misguided confidence.
“Last week it was the water spill next to the knife drawer,” said Will Freeman, Boones’ roommate. “I tried to tell him that on linoleum flooring it was an accident waiting to happen, but he just said not to worry about a thing, and that it would clean itself right on up.”
“This swivel chair isn’t even that bad,” claimed Boones, clinging onto the shelf as the chair gradually rolled further away from the wall. Flexing his abdomen to maintain balance and breaking only a slight sweat, he continued, “See? It’s barely moving.”
At press time, the chair wheels were seen inching closer to the unstable feet of Boone’s dresser, on which sat a lit candle and stacks of books.