Grandson Inherits Treasured Family Heirloom, Chronic Risk of Heart Disease

After a long talk from his father about the object’s significance yesterday, area grandson Casey Dishman inherited his great-great-grandfather’s treasured timepiece along with his increased risk for cardiac arrest, hypertension, and other life threatening coronary related ailments.

Dishman, who is the new proud owner of a prized family possession and will be hospitalized at age 36 with a blocked artery, is planning to store the watch in a display case in his bedroom.

“I’m so happy to be old enough to be trusted with such an old watch,” said the boy who will take far too long to consider an aspirin regimen. “I mean my father has told me all about its history and importance. It really is an honor.”

Proud father Andrew Dishman was also thrilled to pass on the antique, which the Dishman family has had for generations.

“Little Casey is finally old enough to take on these responsibilities,” said the 43-year-old man, whose blood platelets are genetically predisposed to congeal more easily than other men his age. “He’s becoming an adult now, so I think it’s important that he gets in touch with his family’s treasured past.”

“Since my old man passed due to heart complications, I’ve been taking care of the ol’ ticker for decades,” continued the man. “He was a generous man who cared for everyone. I sure hope my son grows up to follow his grandfather’s footsteps.”

Reportedly, Dishman has done everything in his power to fill the shoes of his forefathers, displaying all the charm, generosity and signs of a resting heart murmur that characterized previous generations.

“I try my best to live up to their expectations,” Dishman reported. “But now that I have this watch it already makes me start thinking of how I’m going to raise kids of my own,” reported the 18-year-old, who, in all likelihood, has a good two decades ahead of him.

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