Predicting that students would come for the free pizza and stay for the transcendent sense of spiritual oneness with the universe, the Michigan Psychedelics Club held a successful inaugural meeting last Thursday on the fabled second floor of the Nichols Arboretum.
Club representatives said the mythical upper floor of the centuries-old, 120-acre nature preserve was the “perfect place” to introduce students to the values of the new organization while unifying a congregation of souls in an unutterably magnificent ascent to the intangible essence of pure being.
“Our mission is simple,” explained Ryan Westman, a club spokesperson. “It is to provide a safe space for curious students to engage in the ego-shattering experience of watching the universe and their relation to it dissolve before their very eyes––and to enjoy pop and pizza provided provided by the Center for the Study of Complex Systems while we’re at it.”
“That’s why we were so excited to book the second floor of the Arb for this first mass meeting,” said Westman. “It’s a great place to draw a crowd, sign some people up to our listerv, and orchestrate a simultaneous flash of cosmic revelation.”
Westman knew the event would be a “huge success,” as dozens of students immediately accepted the club’s event invitation on Facebook and by telekinesis.
“I wasn’t doing anything that afternoon, so I headed up there to grab a slice of pizza and meet some new people. And, hey, the vibe was right, so I stayed to chemically induce the total emancipation my soul from its imprisonment within the confines of modern, post-industrial Western thought,” said one student.
“I wasn’t sure what to expect–these things are always hit-or-miss, but I’m really glad I went,” said another attendee. “I ordered a t-shirt and achieved an unmediated oneness with the universe if there’s time at the end.”
When reached for comment, President Schlissel expressed his regret that he was unable to attend the inaugural meeting due to previously scheduled “diplomatic engagement” in Tijuana, Mexico.
“But I can still buy the t-shirt, right?” Schlissel inquired. “I’m definitely getting one of those fucking shirts.”
At press time, sources within the Michigan Psychedelics Club confirmed that those who had been unable to make the Arboretum event were welcome to attend their second mass meeting in the basement of the Diag.