When hackers released Ashley Madison’s customer database this week, adulterers across the country were exposed. In this age of technology, privacy has become a relic of the past and having a clandestine affair is simply impractical. But one man has been quietly changing the game. His name is Jim, and his secret to cheating on his wife is simple yet brilliant: he doesn’t use the Internet.
“I’m no hero or anything, I just like to have sex with strange women without my wife knowing,” says Jim. “I’m not too great with computers, so this works for me.”
Smart and humble? Swoon.
Jim is just an ordinary guy. He’s a regional account manager for a growing retail chain. He’s also got a total bummer of a wife who always nags him and never wants to have sex. To make matters even worse, he has two kids and no prenup, so divorce isn’t an option.
What a drag!
If Jim used Ashley Madison to cheat on his wife, his name would have been released and his marriage would be toast. But Jim didn’t get to be regional account manager by being stupid. He never had to sign up for the now-compromised site because he finds other women to have sex with in real life!
Incredible! But how does he do it?
The answer is shocking. When Jim goes out of town for business trips, he meets women at local bars or corporate events. Then, if he plays his cards right, he has sex with them.
What a guy! Who could have thought of this but Jim?
Thousands of philanderers across the country are begging their spouses for forgiveness, but not Jim. His innovative strategy for sleeping around puts him a step ahead of the competition in the infidelity game. You go, Jim!