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Authorities Close In On Inter-Roommate Venmo Transaction For ‘Drugzzzzz lol’

In the latest in a series of crackdowns on student drug use,...

  • Sep 9, 2015

Guy Tabling at Festifall Signs up Own Name on Email List, Gets the Ball Rolling

In a groundbreaking act of psychological manipulation, LSA senior...

  • Sep 9, 2015

Existence Of Two Ice Cream Stores Right Next To Each Other Best Argument Against Human Rationality

According to a recent paper published in the Michigan Journal of...

  • Sep 9, 2015

Roommate Who Moved in Four Hours Earlier Knows All the Ins and Outs

Gesturing out the window towards the law quad, area roommate Michael...

  • Sep 9, 2015

Depressed Economist Can’t Even Derive Marginal Benefit Of Waking Up In Morning

In a heartachingly detailed post to his class’s CTools page,...

  • Sep 9, 2015

Student Disappointed to Find Legally Blonde LSAT Study Strategy Ineffective

LSA senior Sarah Thorton reported Friday that Elle Wood’s LSAT...

  • Sep 9, 2015

‘Sarcasm Is A Sign of Intelligence,’ Says Man Unable To Be Loved

  • Sep 9, 2015

Practicing Safe Sex: A Guide for Incoming Freshman Looking to Defy God

Good afternoon, baby Wolverines! I’m Abe. I’m going to be your RA...

  • Sep 9, 2015

Unpopular Kid From High School Peaked in High School

After hearing yet another story about his glory days, sources...

  • Sep 9, 2015

Girl Complaining About Hookup Culture Clearly Not Getting Any

According to multiple accounts, LSA junior Becca Stanton, who shares...

  • Sep 9, 2015

Student Purchases Grill He Will Use Once Before Winter

Engineering senior Tom Botteon bought a charcoal barbeque on...

  • Sep 9, 2015

‘Race for the Cure’ Winner to Receive Cure

Participants in the West Michigan “Race for the Cure” are eagerly...

  • Sep 9, 2015
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