Young Christian Fiances Eager to be Together in God, Bed

Fiancés Bryan Nelson and Claire Duncan said they are eager to start their married, sexually active life together, with God as their witness, on their wedding day this October.

“When I met Claire in junior high I knew that I wanted to pursue God with her and I also had this very new, very exciting sensation just below the waist. So you could say I knew I wanted to marry her from the moment we met,” gushed Nelson.

According to the couple, the wedding ceremony will take place at the Trinity Church on Division St. and the reception will be at the Embassy Suites Hotel. “We both went to that church all through high school, so it’s really cool that we can say our vows there,” explained Duncan. “And as for the hotel—we’re actually staying there, so it’s cool we can celebrate with our closest family and friends in the same building that we are going to totally nail each other in.”

As for preparing for the big day, both fiancés said they looked to older members of their congregation for advice. “I asked my youth group leader, Tom, about married life. He had some great words of wisdom,” said Nelson. “The most interesting thing he told me was about how you literally get to ‘do the deed’ whenever you want once your married and it’s not a sin. Literally whenever.”

“Like, in the shower, if you really wanted to.”

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