Professor Uploads Another Sideways PDF

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Students said they fear what may happen if Grispitt transitions to Canvas.

The latest in a series of “administrative fuckups,” several students confirmed last night that history professor and Nobel Laureate Dale Grispitt has uploaded another sideways PDF to the resources section of his “total shitshow of a CTools site.”

Although the PDF of Professor Grispitt’s ground-breaking scholarly article on the religious practices of pre-modern European ethnic groups was intended to give students a brief overview of the course, it was also unreadable in most students’ browsers.

“How fucking hard is it to upload a fucking PDF right-side-up?” asked LSA junior Karen Carmichael. “Unless he keeps his computer monitor sideways, it should be pretty goddamn obvious that people won’t be able to read the goddamn document.”

Several students, now used to the Genius Grant professor’s lapses in “basic fucking computer skills” from navigating his unorganized, incomprehensible CTools site, simply downloaded the PDF and attempted to turn it in a legible direction using Adobe Reader.

Unfortunately, said undeclared sophomore Mike Holt, it wasn’t that simple.

“I thought I was all good when I flipped it 90 degrees left,” said Holt. “But half the pages were upside down! Like what the fuck, right? How fucking stupid can this guy be? Honestly, I think he must be fucking with us at this point.”

While many students were irritated enough to give up altogether on the prospect of reading what UN Secretary General Boutros Boutros-Ghali once called “one of the most important academic works of our generation,” some still pressed on, finding further issues with the document.

“There was a time when I would be angry about this, but there’s really no point,” said Jenny Granderson, one of the few who actually read the whole PDF. “I could ask why he used the lowest resolution possible, why he uploaded the same page twice in a row, or why pages 27 and 32 had three inches cut off the left margin, but it’s no use.”

“I’m at peace with it now,” said Granderson.

At approximately 1:30 this morning, Professor Grispitt announced via CTools that there would be a quiz on the reading in the afternoon. Said one student, “What a fucking douchecanoe.”

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