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Coach Beilein Channels Harbaugh to Raise Interest in Basketball Season

In an attempt to bring interest back to Michigan’s basketball team...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Student Sitting in Front Row of Econ 101 Lecture Developing Close Personal Relationship With Professor

Fellow students reported that freshman and Ross hopeful Brian...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Cancer Patient Just Trying to Hold on Until Star Wars Comes Out

Following his recent diagnosis of stage IV lung cancer, Star Wars...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Shell Station Enters 11th Day of Lockout With Walt’s Crawlers After Contract Dispute

Failing to strike an agreement following a contract renegotiation,...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Vulnerable Student Exiting Mason Hall Decides To Give Blood, Run Half Marathon, Convert To Islam

On his way out of Mason Hall yesterday morning following a 10 A.M....

  • Nov 6, 2015

Area Couple Pledges To Finally Clean Sex Dungeon This Weekend

Citing tangled whips and dusty sideboards as a growing hassle, Ann...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Elementary School Teacher Only In It For The Stories

Veteran educator Lorrie Hammond, who has taught fifth grade in the...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Man Cleans Room for Girl He Not Bringing Home Tonight

In his latest act of wishful thinking, LSA junior Drew Harrington has...

  • Nov 6, 2015

China’s New “Two-Child” Policy to Double Manufacturing Productivity

Stocks in Apple, Sony, Microsoft, and other consumer technology...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Delicate Balance of Spanish 231 Classroom Thrown Into Chaos by 1° Change in Temperature

Only days after the new semester began, students of Spanish 231...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Politics Aside, I Think We Agree We’d All Go Down on Carly Fiorina

If you’ve been following the Republican primaries, you know as well...

  • Nov 6, 2015

Flag Girl Continues Family Tradition Of Not Being Good Enough To Be Twirler

Living up to her family’s longstanding history of not making...

  • Nov 6, 2015
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