Dad Unveils Latest Sandwich


“You’ve got to try this,” said Foster.

Boasting its unique flavor combinations and variety of textures, sources near the kitchen confirmed that local father and lunch enthusiast Doug Foster unveiled a new sandwich last Sunday afternoon.

“There was some leftover chicken from dinner last night, so I was planning on finishing that off for lunch,” Foster explained. “That’s when I realized that I would really be able to up the flavor of the chicken if I put it on a sandwich.”

Family members recount that their father used two slices of whole wheat bread, big leaves of iceberg lettuce, and a thick spread of Hellmann’s Mayonnaise with “just a hint” of Smoked Tabasco mixed in, a blend that Foster plans to “start putting on everything now.”

“I’ve been toasting my sandwiches open-faced under the broiler recently, and I’ve been adding both Swiss and provolone cheese. The provolone melts much better than the Swiss, so it makes for a real treat,” Foster said.

Witnesses also reported that the sandwich included a few tomato slices from the potted Roma tomato plant Foster had been growing on the back deck.

“I bought the plant mid-August and only got a few tomatoes out of it,” Foster said. “But next summer I think I’ll try to plant a whole garden in early spring and get as much use out of it as I can. So long as it doesn’t interfere with the deck renovation I have planned.”

Upon completion of the sandwich, Foster proceeded to encourage those within earshot to “try a bite, even just a little one.” Those who accepted his offer did not echo his glowing review, but did respond with nods of approval.

“I relished every bite,” Dad added. “I’m kidding I didn’t have relish, but I don’t think I would’ve put any on this even if I did. That would’ve been just a little much.” At press time, Dad was taking a nap.

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