Purchase of Cinnamon Raisin Toast Only Thing Getting Man out of Bed in Morning


Sanders isn’t sure what he’ll do when he runs out.

According to local man Clint Sanders, the only motivation he has to pull himself out of bed lately is the knowledge that a newly bought loaf of bakery-made cinnamon raisin bread is waiting for him in the kitchen.

“In times like these, I find it harder and harder to get out of my warm bed and into the harsh, stressful realities of life,” Sanders explained. “So when I saw that the local bakery was selling day-old cinnamon raisin bread for half off the standard price, I figured I’d give it a try. Turns out, it was exactly what I needed to jump start my mornings.”

Sanders had previously tried a variety of cereals, but nothing made him feel so pleased to get out of bed as the cinnamon raisin bread.

“When I was on a big Honey Bunches of Oats kick last year, I would get pretty excited about the start of a new day,” Sanders explained. “But eventually I got tired of the same old cereal every morning, and I really lost interest. Those vanilla clusters can only do so much.”

The toast, Sanders insisted, has made all the difference.

“The second I wake up, I am happy,” he said. “That is such a rare thing.”

“And it keeps me going almost all day,” Sanders continued. “When you start your morning out on such a high, it’s hard to feel down at all. Usually when I come home from work, I’m tempted to toast up another slice, but I know that would just ruin the magic.”

“Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I think about the low-sodium butter I bought to spread on my toast. I just close my eyes and imagine it seeping into the bread, and before I know it, it’s morning.”

At press time, Sanders was setting his alarm clock five minutes earlier than usual to allow himself to “really linger” over his breakfast.

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