Area Handsome Man Struggling With Same Insecurities As You

Singer reportedly scored a 499 on the MCAT and a straight 10 on looks.

Although reportedly much more handsome than most other people dealing with emotional distress, area man James Singer told reporters that he also struggles with interpersonal relationships, schoolwork, future employment prospects, and the crushing pain of existence.

Despite having a chiseled jaw and perfectly clear skin, Singer stated that he still worries whether he will pass chemistry, if he actually has a shot at getting into medical school, or if his friends actually like spending time with him.

“Look, I realize that I am what people call ‘traditionally handsome,’” Singer explained. “But I also have the same problems as you regular-looking or even ugly people. Asking a girl out still freaks me out, and my GPA is definitely less than perfect.”

While Singer maintains that he has his own fair share of troubles, others remain skeptical that he has faced any challenges in his life. Friend Jon Bercham told reporters, “He said he gets nervous when he talks to girls? He’s got a six-pack and great biceps. Give me a fucking break. Last weekend he slept with two different girls.”

English Professor Harry Stein echoed with Bercham’s sentiments. “Knowing that Singer will never face significant problems, I have no qualms about grading Singer a little more harshly than the rest of the class. He may have moderate ADHD, but he still has the unfair advantage of being good-looking.”

Like many “normal people” with personal troubles, Singer has also started to see a therapist. Singer said, “Yeah, Dr. Waxler has helped me a lot. Right now, we’re working on how whenever I get anxious about something, I need to ask myself, ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen in this situation?’”

Singer continued, “And thanks to my good looks, nothing that bad can ever really happen to me.”

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