“I’m going to pretend my mom is visiting if another guy asks me for ‘homework help,'” said Jacobs.
After being asked about her plans plans for the upcoming weekend by a male peer, LSA junior Anne Jacobs announced Thursday that she was not about to fall for that again.
“Hell no,” said Jacobs, who, when asked the same question by a male acquaintance last week, was coaxed into going on a painfully awkward date. “The next time a dopey guy asks me about my plans, I’m saying I’m busy. I’ve learned my lesson.”
Jacobs, who has in the past been ambushed with unwanted proposals to hang out on multiple occasions, plans to no longer let her guard down when discussing plans. “Telling guys that I’m busy will save me from another torturous evening out. I don’t enjoy lying, but it’s a sacrifice I’ll make to avoid spending another night bowling with another weirdo.”
“Last week some kid named Adam asked me what I was up to Saturday night and I thought we were just making casual conversation,” continued Jacobs. “I had no idea that as soon as I said I didn’t have plans, he was going to ask me to see The Revenant.’ I know better now.”
At press time, Jacobs was seen feigning illness when a boy in her discussion section asked if she was interested in getting lunch.