Sophomore Being Blatantly Ignored by One Night Stand Happy to Be Keeping it Casual

“Yeah, it’s totally fine!” said Cohen.

Following a Friday discussion section in Mason Hall, sophomore Lindsey Cohen was reportedly content to be keeping relations carefree after spotting Jack Soloman walking through the Diag and ignoring her.

Cohen, who according to reports had sex with Soloman the week before, was spotted staring blankly at her iPhone next to Hatcher Graduate Library after not being so much as glanced at by her one-time partner. “I’m not looking for anything serious,” commented Cohen. “I’m not the kind of person who’s into labels.”

According to Cohen’s roommates, the biology student came home at 6 a.m. last weekend after spending the night at Soloman’s apartment. “She told us how some guy picked her up at the bar and she went home with him,” said Cohen’s close friend Allison Lovett. “She thought about texting him but decided against it because she doesn’t want to be tied down or anything.”

Cohen, who spent two minutes after being obviously disregarded standing in a front of a bathroom mirror mouthing the words, “You are beautiful. You are beautiful,” maintained that she is relieved to not have to define where she stands in terms of her relationship.

Continuing to claim she is unphased by the total negligence exhibited by Soloman, Cohen explained that she plans to keep things between her and Soloman “light and fun,” adding, “I’m not looking to be anyone’s girlfriend.”

At press time, Soloman was overheard telling his fraternity brother, “I think I saw that girl from last week in the Diag, but I’m not totally sure. It also could’ve been the girl from two weekends ago.”

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