Steinway admitted some of the credit goes to his APUSH teacher James Cordill.
Casting aside the shackles of earthly limits, LSA freshman Eric Steinway announced Monday that he had achieved sophomore standing one semester early.
This contemporary triumph of man over its humanity was discovered during Steinway’s advising appointment, where an LSA degree audit indicated that the Nietzschean freshman had taken enough AP classes to push his total college credits to 32.
“The whole office just exploded into light,” reported a bewildered Steinway. “A voice spoke with the tremble of the gods, commanding me to bring this fact up around acquaintances. Of course, I was happy to oblige.”
LSA advisors first became aware of Steinway’s progress when an automated Wolverine Access update was accompanied by “a chorus of Valkyries.”
“I could not believe my eyes when I saw his accumulated credits,” said Steinway’s academic advisor Marsha Koenig. “I looked at the class standing, and then back at the credits and I knew I was witnessing the rise of the overman.”
After receiving his prophetic news, Steinway reportedly marched triumphant out of the LSA advising center before transcending his corporeal form on the way to get lunch at South Quad.
“It was just great to see man evolve into man’s potential,” reported a JavaBlu barista dazzled by the light bending around Steinway.
While he said he had never considered it before, Steinway’s friends report that the physical manifestation of superiority will now likely apply to Ross.
