After browsing the shelves in local antique bookstore The Dawn Treader, student Mark Flinter reported that he believes that there is likely an ancient tome of mystical energy waiting to be found under all the piles of books.
“In the movies it’s always places like this where a guy finds some forgotten manual that sucks him into another world when he opens it,” said Flinter. “Then the wise old storekeeper asks if the guy’s sure he wants to take it and gives some vague warning about unforeseen consequences. I know the drill.”
“And if it’s something really evil, he’d probably even give it to me for free,” Flinter added. Noting that it was not his intention to summon horrendous demons from the depths of hell, Flinter clarified that if he found a book with a skull on the cover or Latin words inscribed in blood, he would stay clear.
“I’m not the kind of guy to bring an age of torment and Armageddon down upon the earth for the next ten thousand years,” said Flinter. “I’m just looking for some cool sci-fi novels and maybe a couple of written intonations to grant me all of my heart’s desires.”
According to Flinter, his suspicions were reinforced when he noticed that the “wizened old man” working behind the counter walked with an ornate cane and “smiled with a mysterious gleam in his eye.” “Dead giveaway,” explained Flinter. “This guy knows what’s up.”
At press time, bystanders observed Flinter blowing some dust off a cracked, leatherbound hardcover and whispering “jackpot.”
