Student Expertly Ignores Professor’s Fart During Office Hours

Jennings (left) also made efforts to not look at Dr. Bradley’s unzipped fly.

Sources reported that during Philosophy Professor Greg Bradley’s office hours Wednesday morning, Bradley loudly passed gas, forcing LSA sophomore Ben Jennings to employ some quick thinking and carry on the conversation as though nothing happened.

Said Jennings, “When Bradley was telling me about the concept of the multiverse, I noticed that he was getting more and more uncomfortable. He kept shifting around, and I could tell he was holding something in. Right after he said ‘David Lewis,’ he farted pretty loudly, and I just had to sit there and act like I didn’t hear it.”

Jennings further explained that although “you could’ve heard him rip one from the hallway it was so loud,” and “it smelled like gasoline,” he had to continue listening to Bradley, keeping a straight face and pretending that nothing out of the ordinary occurred. “Yeah, I think Bradley knew I heard it, I mean how could I not? And then I had to keep listening, awkwardly making eye contact with a professor who basically shat his pants in my presence.”

Bradley also coughed as he tried to mask the clearly audible fart, Jennings told reporters, but it was to no avail. According to sources, Jennings quickly asked a follow-up question to prevent what could have been a “colossally” embarrassing moment.

“It was a terrible situation, but I swooshed in right away with a question about modal realism,” Jennings said. “It would have been more appropriate for him to excuse himself and take care of business in the bathroom. He knew I wasn’t in a rush since I told him I didn’t have class until 2:30, but I knew how to handle it.”

At press time, Jennings was shifting his weight uncomfortably after he saw an open Google search on Professor Bradley’s computer asking “Do Adult Circumcisions Hurt?”

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