“It’s not just a car; it’s a source of misguided power,” said a Toyota spokesperson.
Toting a best-in-class fuel efficiency among other midsize sedans, the 2017 Toyota Corolla is set to be capable of committing the most fuel-efficient vehicular manslaughter of the auto industry’s 2017 line-up.
“Whether it’s driving rampantly through a golf course, or plowing over children at the neighborhood barbeque, the 2017 Corolla can do it all more efficiently,” said Lead Engineer Akido Nagumo. “We’ve redesigned the Corolla from the bottom up to make it the most eco-friendly killing machine on the market.”
The 2017 Corolla will also offer standard all-wheel-drive, a rear backup camera, and a full length sunroof, features that maintain Toyota’s promise of offering the best body-mangling hit-and-run experience possible.
“We’ve revamped the Corolla with a state of the art six-cylinder engine making it the most capable body-splattering hybrid car of 2017,” Nagumo told reporters.
“And with it’s five-star crash safety rating, you’ll be rolling over civilians with the assurance that your family is safe and secure,” Naguma added. “That’s the kind of promise no other brand but Toyota can make.”