Area Man Going Way Too Hard on Elliptical

Gordon described Lange’s movement as a “seemingly intentional flail.”

Sources at the CCRB reported yesterday that LSA junior Sam Lange appeared to be putting too much energy and physical exertion into riding a stationary, swinging exercise machine.

“Don’t get me wrong, I was impressed with how seriously he took his cardio, but it seemed kind of unnecessary,” said Engineering sophomore Leslie Simmons, who had been exercising on the treadmill next to Lange. “His legs were just going and going—I wondered for a minute if he had lost control over the machine.”

Continued Simmons, “He must have been getting something out of it, though, because he was really sweating.”

Sources confirmed that Lange had the treadmill on the lowest possible resistance, making his level of effort “confusing” and “likely pointless.”

“I don’t really use that machine, but I think you’re supposed to turn the resistance up when the original level gets too easy,” said onlooker Jason Gordon. “He was just swinging his legs so rapidly. I’m not sure what he was trying to accomplish.”

“He was going so fast and violently that the whole elliptical started moving back and forth a little bit,” said Gordon. “I feel like that’s not good for the machine.”

CCRB maintenance workers were still trying to clean up the scuff marks left on the floor by Lange’s overzealous workout several hours later.

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