Schlissel Hangs Daily Article About Himself On Office Wall

Schlissel said he also plans to frame the commencement program with his name on it.

After appearing on the cover of last Wednesday’s Michigan Daily, a proud President Schlissel was seen hanging a copy of the paper in his office.

In a story about reducing the University’s reliance on fossil fuels, President Schlissel graced the cover above a headline reading “Schlissel Embraces Environmentalism.” Reportedly elated, he proceeded to get the issue framed at the nearby Michaels in the Arborland Center.

Store manager Rick Bryant explained, “He came into the store with a little strut in his step, like he was really satisfied with himself. Then he pulled out a copy of the Daily and coyly slid it across the counter, saying, ‘I’m gonna need this puppy in the nicest frame you got. Price is not an issue.’”

Bryant continued, “I didn’t really pay any attention to what was on it, but then he cleared his throat a couple times and kept nodding down toward the paper. He seemed really giddy about something, so I looked down and saw his face right there on the front cover.”

Witnesses reported that upon recognizing President Schlissel as the man in the photograph, Bryant said, “Congratulations, sir. You must be very proud,” to which the University President immediately quipped, “Yes siree, Bob, I’ve made it alright.”

President Schlissel’s secretary Jennifer Raymonds told reporters, “He came skipping in the next morning, pulled the framed Daily out of his briefcase, and said ‘grab me some nails, this old thing is going up!’”

At press time, President Schlissel was calling his parents to tell them the good news.

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