‘I Have A Very Low Tolerance For Bullcrap,’ Says Professor For Whatever Reason

Professor Branson wants you to know in advance of any tests that he rarely gives out As.

In a seemingly unwarranted statement made about course effort and student conduct, LSA professor Eric Branson told his 10:30 section of POLSCI 161 that he has “a very low tolerance for bullcrap.”

The warning, which Branson apparently felt was necessary, was announced in the Lorch lecture hall to just over 100 students while discussing the course syllabus.

“A lot of students think that just because this is a prerequisite course, that means they can just slide through,” Branson informed his students. “That is not the case with me, no sir.”

The course, which is graded on the basis of three short essays and two multiple choice exams, is a requirement for students attempting to major or minor in Political Science.

“You’re gonna have to be a full-time, serious student in my classroom,” said Branson of his 3 credit course. “Don’t come crying to me when you get a bad score. If you don’t put in the work to understand the material, that’s on you, not me.”

Branson continued with what one student called an “impotent rant” for several minutes, describing in depth his Byzantine email policy.

“If you don’t write the class number, your section number, my name and your name in an email, I will not read it,” said Branson, pounding once on his lectern for every single word in the sentence. “My GSIs have been instructed to delete all emails that do not follow these guidelines as well.”

Students watching the lecture said they were confused about Branson’s severity.

“I don’t really know what he means by ‘no bullcrap,’” Justin Patel told reporters, “I guess he means like he expects us to do the readings or something? I feel like I’d still do well in this class if I just glanced over them.”

“I was just taking this class to fill some Intellectual Breadth requirements,” Patel continued. “Some upperclassmen told me that I don’t even have to show up. The iClickers aren’t even part of the final grade.”

At press time, Branson was typing the word “must” in all caps and bold face into the course’s Canvas page.

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