According to a press release from Trump campaign chair Stephen Bannon, Trump’s campaign plans to extend its outreach to his African-American supporter. Over the coming months, Trump’s media personnel will “explore new strategies” to gain the vote of the African-American.
Sources from within the campaign report that Trump’s current tactic of pulling up to his African-American supporter’s house and offering free limousine rides has so far been “ineffective.” Campaign strategists say that Trump will escalate his pitch to the African American in the coming months.
“I’m thinking I’ll treat him to a nice round of golf at one of my beautiful resorts,” Trump said. “Or maybe I’ll give him a year’s subscription to the tremendous Trump Magazine. Nothing is too good.”
Yesterday Trump made a personal appeal to the African-American, saying, “Vote for me and I’ll let you ride in my helicopter.” When pressed further, Trump insisted that the African-American would be allowed to call him “Don.”
The Trump campaign has conducted several surveys of the African-American in an effort to formulate a more compelling campaign strategy. Polling data has yet to yield any useful information as the African-American simply ignores the questions and continues walking.
Campaign advisor Ben Carson has also lent effort, using his knowledge of the African- American demographic to attempt to sway his vote. Carson has reportedly been making bi-weekly trips to the African-American’s workplace and dropping off baskets full of baked goods with tags reading “Compliments of Mr. Trump.”
“It’s certainly difficult work, but I know that it’s going to pay off when Mr. Trump gets 100% of this African-American’s support in November,” said Carson.
Internal polling of the African-American indicates that Trump must step up his efforts fast or it may be too late.
“I recently found out about this Gary Johnson guy, and he seems like a decent choice,” said the African-American.