“Welcome Back Everyone!”

Hey everyone, welcome back to campus! How was your summer? I stuck around here. Boy it sure does get quiet, but don’t worry, I still found some pickup basketball games to play — just nine teenagers and me. I sweat more than they do, but that’s okay. I mean it sure was a hot summer, right?

Was it hot where you were? And where was that exactly? Ah, I have a niece in that area! Maybe you’ve met her. She’s kind of quiet but you would like her. Whoa there, watch where you’re sitting! That’s where I put the crumpled up paper towels that I use to wipe up my sweat.

I just stuck around here for the summer. Not much to do for an old guy like me, but I kept myself busy by running shirtless through the arb, playing racquetball with giant safety goggles on, and asking the men at construction sites what exactly they were working on.

So what’s your major? Oh what do you plan on doing with that? Not a lot of jobs in that field. I hear you people have more trouble than any other generation because you’re not studying useful stuff. What exactly are you working on right now?

Oh would ya look at that? My wife will be getting dinner on the table, I should get home. But welcome back to campus and have a great semester. I’ll see you around. Hey, do you wanna pop into the sauna for a quick steam? Here, hold my towel, I’m going in.

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