Local Physician Reassures Dead Patient’s Family Members That ‘It Won’t Happen Again’

Stimson said he was annoyed that Keller “made such a big deal” out of her husband’s death.

Following an unsuccessful liver transplant late Wednesday night that left Mark Kellner, aged 36, dead on the operating table, surgeon Harvey Stimson reassured Kellner’s loved ones that he was very sorry for their loss, and assured them that such a mistake would certainly not happen again.

“I was just having a really off day,” explained Dr. Stimson. “I was bumbling all over the place. First, I spilled the coffee in the break room, and then I stubbed my toe. Then the surgery thing, obviously. That sucked. And after that, if you can believe it, I got a flat tire on the way home! I guess it was just one of those days.”

Joy Kellner, wife of the deceased, reported feeling a bit upset at what she described as Stimson’s “lack of tact” in breaking the news.

“He was pretty dismissive of it,” reported Joy, who survives Mark along with their two children, Jessica, age 12, and Terrence, age 8. “He said something along the lines of ‘I’m afraid he didn’t make it Mrs. Kellner, but I can almost guarantee you it won’t happen again.’ Can you believe that?” said Kellner. “I’m not even sure what that means!”

Dr. Stimson was reportedly surprised to hear of the negative reaction to his comments.

“I mean, I said I was sorry. And anyways, can you really fault me? It won’t happen again—not to him, at least—can’t really speak for the other patients. It is a hospital, after all. People die here all the time.”

At press time, Stimson was overheard reminding Mrs. Kellner, who was still in tears in the waiting room, that he was “looking forward to” her upcoming double bypass.

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