Peters places the rug in his home, completely ignoring his lack of aristocratic ancestry.
LSA junior Darren Peters has reportedly purchased a rug for his bedroom like some kind of monarchical ruler furnishing a palace.
The green rug, placed regally on the floor adjacent to the futon mattress Peters uses as his bed, has stirred some controversy in his otherwise unassuming Church Street apartment. Its addition follows several other contentious home decoration choices that have caused tension with Peters’ roommates.
“The whole thing strikes me as, I don’t know, kind of pretentious,” said housemate Mark Flores. “Who needs a rug? Is he planning on hosting some sort of gala? I mean, we just don’t know what’s next. He might even start vacuuming.”
According to sources, Peters spent approximately 15 minutes adjusting the carpet before he was satisfied with its positioning in his regal abode.
The five-by-seven feet, cushioned-back rug was reportedly placed lengthwise “to make the room feel a little longer and give it a homier feel” according to Peters. Peters placed the rug in his room despite not technically being in line to inherit a throne in a foreign kingdom.
Local art historians are currently investigating whether the carpet was inherited through a dynastic line extending back through generations, despite Peters’ claim that he bought it last week at Bed Bath and Beyond. Peters’ roommates report that a venerable connection to monarchical reign would be the only explanation for Peters’ display of wealth in the form of a plush area rug.
“Honestly, it’s a little un-American,” said Flores. “I mean, what is he doing, acting so pompous with a fucking rug when I can barely pay my tuition?”
Continued Flores, “I swear if he comes home with a frame for his Moonrise Kingdom poster, I’ll behead him.”
