Explaining that Mom acts weird whenever she has to fly, local four-year-old Dylan Carter told reporters Monday that a long security line at DTW was just what he needed to trigger a massive tantrum that would culminate with him getting exactly what he wanted.
Accompanied by his mother and older sister, Carter set out to achieve his goal of a happy meal with four chicken nuggets by any means necessary at approximately the halfway point through the security line. “Mom never lets us eat fast food at home, so I knew this was an opportunity I just couldn’t turn down,” Carter commented after his full-blown meltdown. “The key is to get at least a few decibels louder right when she tells you to be quiet.”
Robert Horowitz, a six-year old bystander to the incident was situated behind the Carter family at the security checkpoint.
“As soon as he saw that McDonald’s, he hit the deck,” said Horowitz. “It’s dedication to the craft like that that inspires children nationwide to throw their own hissy fits, no matter how obnoxious to those around them.”
Horowitz was later seen contemplating peeing in his pants in exchange for a comic book at Hudson News.
TSA agent Laurie Kennedy confirmed Dylan’s mother stood no chance in front of a security line of nearly 100 travelers, each growing increasingly frustrated. “You really hate to watch a parent go through that, but there’s something to be said about a child who knows what he wants and goes and gets it.”
At press time Mrs. Carter was seen tossing back a double whiskey sour at SlapShotz Bar and Grill.
