Handprint Turkeys Again This Year, Ms. Laura? By A Smug Rival Teacher

Hey, so I see you’re doing the whole tracing-the-hands turkey thing for Thanksgiving again this year. Sooo original. You must have scoured Pinterest for hours looking for such a unique, creative project! It must be so nice for your second-graders to know they have a teacher who cares enough about them to find such a fun, original idea!

My class is making a cardboard diorama of the Mayflower, with Pilgrims made from marshmallows and toothpicks that they can later eat, but I’m sure your kids will like your hand turkey thing just as much as they did when they did it last year, and the year before. Hey, maybe they can write something they’re thankful for on the turkey, yeah? As long as you’ve got some colorful paper and stickers to decorate, that’ll keep the kids happy while you get “Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving” cued up. What’s that? You’re using printer paper? Oh, well I’m sure it’ll be fine! It can’t be much worse than those thumbprint caterpillars you did for our insects unit. Yikes!

But anyway, I really admire your creativity when it comes to doing projects with the kids. Who would’ve thought of decorating Trick-or-Treat bags for Halloween? I mean, besides most teachers on the hall. And folding red construction paper in half to make hearts for Valentine’s Day? Revolutionary!

I don’t know how you do it! Really! I can’t wait to see what you have in store for Christmas! I’m sure it’ll be just as fun as the pipe cleaner candy-canes you’ve done for the past seven years.

As for my students’ work? Well, it’s nothing really. I’ll just let the wall outside my classroom speak for itself.

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