Local father of three and grandfather of eight, William Barrett, sleepily wondered Wednesday afternoon if his impending nap would be the end of his life.
“Frankly, I’m pretty scared,” said Barrett as his eyes fluttered. “I’ve had a few coffees to try and keep this thing going, but boy I’m just dog-tired.”
Barrett, who has been pleasantly surprised to wake up from his last few dozes, mulled over whether he was slipping into another peaceful siesta, or the inconceivable nothingness of oblivion.
“I have just been getting so tired lately. More tired than usual,” said Barrett. “And I can’t help but wonder if it’s just another snooze or if it’ll be the last time I see my wife.”
At ninety-three, Barrett acknowledged that he’s lived a full life, but also said he’d like to continue living if at all possible.
“It’d be preferable,” said Barrett after splashing some cold water on his face. “Some nights I sit in bed reading for hours hoping Barbara will turn in first. I can’t stand the thought of leaving her here alone.”
In a futile effort to ward off the sandman, and equally likely spectre of death, Barrett said he likes to crank up the volume of the evening news before starting his CPAP therapy.
“I can’t say I’m particularly afraid of death, but my youngest granddaughter is graduating in May and I’d really love to be there for it,” said Barrett, “so hopefully this is just another one of those random naps that they say old geezers like me have.”
At press time, Barrett was reportedly seen snoring himself awake and muttering “thank goodness.”