Father Of Fourth-Grade YMCA Soccer Player Blames Bad Play On Referee, Son’s Genetic Shortcomings

Area man and local Xerox sales clerk John Chason furiously accosted the referee of his ten-year-old son’s recreational soccer game over the weekend. Chason reportedly blamed the referee for missing a clear penalty in the 2nd quarter, and for his son’s lack of strength and coordination, along with other related physiological deficits.

“C’mon, ref! What kind of crap is this? That’s a slide tackle!” yelled Chason, whose son had tripped over his own shoes a foot away from the nearest defensive player. “No wonder my son’s guidance counselor keeps leaving me voicemails, if this is how he’s getting treated on the pitch!”

Shortly thereafter, Chason announced that uncalled foul was “bullshit.” Said Chason, “He’s already got a disadvantage with the Type-I diabetes, we don’t need the other team getting any more breaks!”

Chason then rushed down three rows of bleachers in the field behind the local Y and further implored that the ref “get some damn glasses, for God’s sake” and yelled, “Benny is a Chason, and Chasons don’t lose games, or have growth hormone deficiencies!”

“This just blows my mind,” said Chason after the game. “That missed call changed the dynamic of the entire game. This is going to play a huge role in the team’s overall record, not to mention Ben’s self- esteem issues.”

When asked about his opinion of his father’s outburst in a post-game interview, Ben Chason said, “Are you kidding? This is the most Dad’s paid attention to me in years! Maybe he’ll finally help me with those bullies at school now!”

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