School Shooting Leaves Broken Nation To Ask Themselves Who Will Win The Bachelor

Claiming the lives of six students and injuring nine, a university shooting has left a broken and confused nation to question who will win ‘The Bachelor.’

After a fatal shootout between police and the gunman, families were left to mourn while the rest of the nation asked themselves whether Raven or Vanessa would get the final rose at the end of this season.

The shooting, which began at 5:13 p.m. as students were leaving campus a er class, began with shots red from the south lawn of the university quad. ‘The Bachelor,’ which airs at 8:00 p.m. EST on ABC, will hopefully end in an engagement for Nick, who, until now, has been looking for love in all the wrong places.

“Today’s events taught me that life can end at any moment,” said avid ‘Bachelor’ viewer Sarah Holber, later adding, “I don’t want to leave this earth not knowing whether the Neil Lane diamond ring ends up on Raven from Arkansas or Corinne from Miami.”

In the chaos that ensued following the attack, university students and administrators reportedly struggled to nd safe shelter, while a shocked nation learned that Rachel would become the next Bachelorette. “It’s heartbreaking,” wrote a university administrator in an email a er the event, “that Rachel isn’t going to end up with an engagement at the end of this.”

At press time, the bruised country considered trying out ‘The Crown.’

Related News

COPYRIGHT 2016 E3W. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.