Student Body Announces Plans To Make It Up On The Final

Pictured: The Michigan student body discovering that the final will be cumulative.
Pictured: The Michigan student body discovering that the final will be cumulative.

Following a string of exceptionally difficult anthropology, physics, and political science midterm exams, the University of Michigan student body announced plans to make up their grade on the final exam.

The midterms, which consisted of approximately 25 multiple choice questions, three shorts answers, and a few true-false questions reportedly had “no relation whatsoever to what we talked about in discussion.”

Said LSA junior Steven Biel, “I swear there’s no way that test isn’t going to be curved at least 20 points.”

Having studied the lecture slides and reviewed a few of the Blue Reviews online, the Michigan student body was reportedly “pretty confident” before taking their midterm examinations.

“I definitely thought I’d do better on this midterm. I studied pretty hard and I do pretty well on the homework,” said LSA sophomore Jen Allen. “I think it’s probably too late to take this class pass/fail, but if I get enough extra credit on the final, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Reasoning that the midterm was only hard so that everyone would learn the material for the final, LSA, Engineering, Business, and Nursing students around campus came to the conclusion that they will easily be able to bring their averages up at least two letter grades by the end of the semester.

“If I get a one hundred percent on every single lab assignment, plus get full credit for participation, which let’s be honest why wouldn’t I, I should be able to pull at least a B minus in the class,” commented Aaron Durham, later adding, “Provided I get at least a 95 on the final.”

At press time, campus students also reported that they would make sure to make it to office hours at least twice in the next couple weeks.

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