Student To Graduate Without Taking Any Classes In Area Of Passion

Shortly after completing his senior audit at an advising appointment, LSA senior Matt Stephens told reporters that he’s on track to graduate from the University of Michigan without having taken any classes in his area of passion.

“I wish I could’ve taken some film classes or something like that, but my schedule didn’t allow for it,” said Stephens, whose humanities requirement had been fulfilled by two seminar classes he took in freshman year, rather than anything he was genuinely interested in.

Stephens, who majored in statistics, despite a general lack of interest in data or their application in everyday life, said he is glad to have majored in something so practical.

“I was also really interested in taking a class about environmental science in freshman year, but it didn’t really fit with my schedule,” said Stephens. “But my major is really practical, so no complaints, I guess.”

“Frankly, I’m impressed with Matt,” said Clara Mulroney, Stephens’s academic advisor. “Most students aren’t able to avoid taking at least one class in their passion area, even if it’s not their major. But Stephens is one of the only students in my memory who hasn’t taken a single class in the subject that truly stimulates him intellectually.”

Added Mulroney, “Stephens’s accomplishment is a testament to what you can accomplish when you completely ignore your passion.”

At press time, Stephens was reportedly Googling admissions requirements for business schools despite his complete lack of interest in business.

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