‘Everything Happens For A Reason’ Says Area Woman As Genocide And Slavery Occur Globally

Sweeney reaffirmed her belief in a higher power as thousands of child soldiers marched with Somali armed forces.

Fresh off of landing a new job at public relations firm Lily Communications this Monday, area woman Anna Sweeney attributed her triumph to the almighty, invisible hand of fate, just as thousands across the globe lost their lives to famine and war.

“When I didn’t get that one job at Kelley Research, I was crushed,” recounted Sweeney, while dozens of newborn Syrians were kidnapped and taken from their families. “Now I just know it was all part of a bigger design, for me to find my place at Lily Communications!”

According to Sweeney, it was “written in the stars” for her to advance in her career path at this time. Though she worked hard in her job search, she could not help but feel like the world was also just “turning out the way it’s meant to be,” with her dreams coming true and Ugandan citizens incidentally losing loved ones to malaria and starvation.

“Do you ever feel like, I don’t know, someone’s watching out for you and just when things seem impossible something amazing happens?” asked Sweeney dreamily while over 20 million victims of human trafficking existed worldwide. “I think everyone eventually finds their happy ending.”

At press time, Sweeney’s boss conceded she hired Sweeney because a more qualified applicant had received a diagnosis of terminal cancer.

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