Friend Uses Word ‘Dank’ As If Everyone Just Going To Let That Slide

Kaiser with friends, who are one stupid adjective away from replacing him.
Kaiser with friends, who are one stupid adjective away from replacing him.

Local man Aaron Kaiser referred to a recent party as “dank” while conversing with roommates on Sunday, in a move friends say demonstrated a concerning lack of foresight.

“I mean, did he really think he could get away with using a word like that without everyone making fun of him?” said roommate Arjun Bahl. “That’s just playing with fire.”

Added Eric Sondheim, “When Arjun called me ‘broseph,’ last year, I didn’t let it go for a solid month. You just can’t walk around saying whatever you want and not expect to get totally shat on.”

“I mean, it would’ve been fine if he’d said it ironically,” Bahl continued. “He was just so sincere about it. That’s not gonna fly.”

Bahl said that the air in the room changed as soon as Kaiser dropped the word into the conversation.

“You could tell that everyone was just sitting there trying to come up with the best joke to use first. It was like a slaughterhouse in there when we all got started,” said Bahl.

Roommate Adam Hagan said he felt a little badly for Kaiser, but that a line had to be drawn somewhere.

“Look, I stood by him when he asked me if I wanted to ‘grab a brew.’ I even bit my tongue when ‘deadass’ became a staple of his vocabulary. But this time, he’s gone too far,” said Hagan.

At press time, the roommates were sarcastically repeating the word around Kaiser whenever possible.

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