President Schlissel Sends Email Urging Student Body To ‘Check Out All The Sweet Dinosaurs’ At Natural History Museum

Schlissel was later seen digging in the backyard of his home, reportedly looking for dinosaur bones.
Schlissel was later seen digging in the backyard of his home, reportedly looking for dinosaur bones.

Returning home from a walk around campus Friday evening, University President Mark Schlissel sent an email to the undergraduate student body imploring them all to visit the Ruthven Museum of Natural History to “check out all the awesome dinosaurs.” Schlissel, who had encountered the museum by CC Little on his nightly jaunt around campus, was so moved by the exhibits of the University-sponsored museum that he felt compelled to send out a campus-wide email.

The email, titled “A Message to Students Regarding the Cool Dinosaurs You Can See at the Museum,” opens with several descriptions of the “sweet” dinosaur specimens that are available for viewing at the museum, including the Allosaurus and Edmontosaurus skeletons and the “sick” Tyrannosaurus rex skull.

The email then encourages students to visit the museum because Schlissel’s descriptions of the dinosaurs “don’t do them justice.” Students “have to see all the awesomeness in person,” Schlissel writes. In one of many sentences emphasizing this point, Schlissel asks, “Did you know that they have dinosaur bones you can touch???!!?!? ”

President Schlissel said, “I’ve been here for a while, but I hadn’t bothered to go to the museum until a few days ago. Once I found out how cool it is, I had to tell all the students.” Several eyewitnesses corroborated this claim, with one museum employee saying Schlissel looked “giddy” and “pressed his face” against the glass of the case housing the Triceratops skull.

“There are so many awesome dinosaurs there! And it’s right on campus, too!” said Schlissel while proudly displaying a plush Giant Microbe he had purchased at the museum’s gift shop. Schlissel has said that he intends to return to the museum “in case [he] missed anything.”

At press time, Schlissel was “excitedly” drafting another email after visiting the North Campus video game archive for the first time.

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