I’ve been noticing a lot of people lamenting the possibility of my dear friend and colleague Ruth Bader Ginsburg passing before our current president is up for re-election. While this is an upsetting prospect to consider, I wanted to take this moment to assure the United States populace that it is absolutely possible that I, Associate Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer, could too die in the next four years.
I, however, do not mean to take anything away from Ruth. She’s a great justice and knocking on death’s door herself. I just seek to remind the people that I could kick the bucket at any minute, and that’s not nothing.
At 78 years old, I’m no spring chicken. And, again, I’m not trying to take anything away from Ruth. Out of all the justices in recent memory, she is one of the most honorable and kind justices to have the opportunity to croak on the bench. All I’m trying to say is I, myself, am more than capable of pushing up daisies before the next presidential election, so I don’t see why everyone is just talking about Ruth’s potential untimely demise.
I don’t want to start a fuss, but realistically I’ve got one foot in the grave. It’s just as likely Charon chauffeurs me down River Styx before Ruth and it’s almost like no one cares. Ruth and I aren’t so different after all. Sure, she’s from New York and I’m from California, but aren’t we all equal in the grave?
In conclusion, I’m not trying to get in the way of anyone’s concern for Ruth’s eternal rest. On the contrary, I just feel it my duty to prepare you all for the possibility that I become food for the the worms myself during the current presidential administration.